RamsFootball.com

It’s Over

“It’s over for the Rams, now that the New York Limping Giants have succeeded in besting the richest bunch of lousy football players in the National Football League, the Washington R-words, by a Ram-season-ending score of 34-28.

Looking back, it’s pretty easy to accept the Rams’ result this year, even if they don’t score a so-what victory over the Vikings tomorrow. 7-9 will get them a better draft position than 8-8, so, as a matter of fact at this point, I’m sort of rooting for the Rams to lose in Minnesota.

And speaking of ways that I am rooting for the Rams, here’s a list:

1. I am rooting for the Rams to take Marshall Faulk back onto a football field in 2007 ONLY if Faulk is absolutely 100% rehabilitated from his half-dozen or so knee surgeries over the last few years. Wasting time, effort and money on any other washed-up semi-Faulk will only keep another deserving player off the team. This must be a football decision. Sentiment can wait five years and express itself in Canton.

2. I am rooting for Scott Linehan to continue his hands-off policy for offensive play-calling. Let the Offensive Coordinator and the quarterbacks work it out. That was what Dick Vermeil did in 1999, and look what was allowed to happen. Even the OC that made 1999 so memorable could never get it right as the Head Coach. Linehan did the right thing. Whether Greg Olson is the right OC for the future, I don’t know.

3. I am rooting for the Rams’ think-tank personnel for the off-season free agent meat-market and the 2007 draft to concentrate on putting together the absolute best O- and D-Lines possible. It is amazing how great a group of otherwise mediocre backs, receivers and linebackers can look when they are playing behind a pair of great lines. It is equally amazing how bad a great group of backs, receivers and linebackers can look when they play behind bad lines. The line isn’t everything, but it HAS TO BE THE FIRST THING. In my opinion, the Rams have sufficient ability at the so-called “skills” positions. If every pick or free agent acquisition was a lineman this off-season, it wouldn’t bother me a bit. Emphasis on the D-line seems appropriate within the framework of that endeavor.

4. I am rooting for the fans in St Louis to get with the program. Unquestioned, unconditional and very VOCAL support are their obligation and crucial contribution to the creation of a home-field advantage that used to be ubiquitous but, in 2006, has all but disintegrated at the Edward Jones Dome. Gripe, second-guess, criticize and quarterback at the water-cooler all day Monday if you want to, but dognabbit, when you go to Rams games, do your duty. Nobody should have to beg you to do this. You should know it’s your job and nobody can do it for you. But if you are waiting around for somebody to beg, then fine. I’m not proud. Pretty please with sugar on top. There. Consider yourself begged.

Here’s hoping everybody who reads my stuff will have a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous 2007. And that the miracle of 1999 is about to repeat itself.

©2006 LA Bob

Posted in LA Bob | No Comments »

I’m Serious

“Losing to the Bears was not a problem for me. Except for the abominable play of the kick coverage units and the continued dropsy epidemic among what used to be the best receiver corps in the game of American Football, the Rams didn’t do half bad. 11 or 12 penalties, the usual leaky run D, but it seemed like the Rams pretty much showed up to play.

And after all, Da Bears are now 11-2 and ready to lock up HFATTP. No, that ain’t a rap group with 43-pound tennis shoes and stank bref’. It’s Home Field Advantage Throughout The Playoffs. And next to getting injury-free through a first week playoff bye, it’s the most important advantage a team can take toward getting into the Super Bowl. (Note: Last year was the prototypical exception to this philosophy. The Bus was goin’ home to Detroit no matter WHERE the Steelers had to play to get him there. There was no HFATTP last season.)

So I can’t get steamed at the Rams anymore this week. I’m all out of steam. I’m so un-steamed I couldn’t lick a stamp and an envelope on the same day.

But let me tell you one thing right here:

If the Rams think they can come back to California, show up in that misbegotten slime-pit in Oakland where Al Davis puts on his Sunday freak-shows, and expect any sympathy from me and about a million Ramfans in Los Angeles if they lose to the dog-butt, stinking RAIDERS this week, then brother, do they have another think coming.

No matter what.

I don’t care if Steven’s cramps are back. I don’t care if Marc Bulger’s brain is farting like a pack mule. I don’t care if Linehan’s pop-eyes bug ALL the way out and bounce down the sideline. The Rams ARE NOT, repeat: NOT allowed to lose to Al Davis. NEVER.

I will personally house-invasion Rams Park and put a chicken suit and a foul, rancid hunk of Limburger cheese in every single coach and player’s locker if they don’t find a way to beat the worst team in the world.

I’m serious as a heart attack on this one.

©2006 LA Bob

“

Posted in LA Bob | No Comments »

Astounded

“It seems that no matter how much NFL football I see, how much media coverage I absorb, how much sideshow humor I witness by the likes of Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, Bill Parcells, Souf’-Eas’ Jerome or Steve Smith – these people never fail to, as a group, astound me.

Growing up, the immortal giants and titans of the game were 25 feet tall, glowed in the dark, and seemed indestructible to a small boy. TV newsreels would literally stop a kid’s heart while the touchdown pass was in the air, even before the days when Ed Sabol’s NFL Films cameramen figured out how to follow the flight of the ball and Ed set the whole thing to music.

The music to a kid’s ear was the words of a Bob Kelley or Dick Enberg, filling the radio airwaves with the heroics of Bob Waterfield, Norm VanBrocklin, Bill Wade – hitting on huge scoring passes to Elroy Hirsch and Tom Fears. Handing off to Jon Arnett and Dick Bass. The Fearsome Foursome dominating the line of scrimmage and keeping the opposition at bay.

Astounding.

To this day, there are sights and sounds that blow the wispy smoke of childhood memories back to life, and for fleeting moments all too few, I remember how it felt to be a kid and be in love with a game and be astounded by its heroes.

Then, sadly, the memories and feelings are gone as fast as they came. I find myself grown up, back in front of the 50” HD bigscreen, staring at a fool named “Ocho Cinco”, jumping around with a grinning face full of fake gold teeth and looking like a 1959 Cad-O-Lac Pimpmobile. Followed by another clown named “Souf-eas’ Jerome” (real name: Clinton Portis) dressed in drag with giant sunglasses, a pink feather boa and a wig-hat to match.

Can these be football players? These morons ain’t no 25 feet tall. These bozos might glow in the dark some, but only from the makeup. Unlike my childhood heroes, these modern-day examples of the NFL’s “finest” are a whole lot more like a whole different class of “athletes” from the past. One Freddie Blassie used to stomp around the ring throwing autographed photo cards of himself at the fans. Gorgeous George had long blond hair filled with gold bobby-pins that he would pull out and throw at the audience.

Even as a kid, it was pretty easy to tell who were the heroes and who were the phonies.

Nowadays, it’s not so easy. NFL now stands for the Numbskull Football League, where anybody with a pocket full of picture cards or a hair-do loaded with golden bobby-pins can make a name for himself, get media coverage and free face-time on television, act like an idiot and essentially cheapen the game of American Football into what seems likely to become a sideshow to the new Main Event: a bad imitation of 1950s professional wrestling.

Choke-holds, flying double bodyslams – the works.

What astounds me now are two things: (1)That there is any respect left for the game or the media that covers it, and: (2)That the American football fan just sucks it up like free beer and says NOTHING.

Astounding.

©2006 La Bob

“

Posted in LA Bob | No Comments »