Guesswork
November 21st, 2006 | by LA Bob |
“What will become of the 2006 Rams is now anybody’s guess.
Head Coach Scott Linehan is obviously just guessing. His guess that the Rams could shoot holes in the Carolina Panthers’ pass defense using a decision-challenged quarterback, a patchwork offensive line and several receivers with wooden fingers was, um, wrong. Some of us guessed that Linehan would remember an earlier guess where he thought the Rams would balance the attack and run Steven Jackson. We guessed wrong. Linehan didn’t remember.
I, personally, guessed that Isaac Bruce’s first dropped pass against the Panthers would be his last. Bamp. Wrong. I also guessed that Linehan would remember his own words:
“People need to remember that Todd Steussie went to the Pro Bowl as a left tackle in this League”
and put Steussie in there at LT, sliding Adam Goldberg in someplace else. Another bad guess on my part. Goldberg went in for the missing-in-action Orlando Pace who inconveniently tore a tricep while pushing on some air the week before, while the Rams were losing to Seattle (who lost to the Whiners on Sunday — I don’t know anybody who guessed right on that one). As a result of Goldberg getting thoroughly creamed on a regular basis, the indecisive thumbsucker with the going-nowhere football in his right hand (and the number 10 on his bumbling, stumbling, fumbling back) did what he usually does under pressure: brain-lock and crumble.
A short list of my other wrong guesses:
Jim Haslett would find a way to cover Steve Smith.
The Rams’ defensive front 8 would stop the run.
The Rams’ defensive front 8 would rush Jake Delhomme effectively and get some killer sacks and takeaways.
The Rams would get to .500 and still be alive for a wildcard.
Bamp. Wrong on all of the above.
Right now, I think I am through guessing about 2006. My expectations for the Rams are probably pretty low right now but I don’t know for sure because I have hunted high and low, attic and basement, under the bed and behind the garage, and for the life of me I can’t find those consarned expectations anywhere. It’s like they vanished, but I can’t exactly say that because that would be guessing, and like I said before, I’m through guessing.
I ‘ll probably just grab the newspaper, a ham sandwich and a seat cushion and take a number in the lobby of the Miracle Department. If the Rams have a snowball’s chance of getting in the playoffs, that’s probably where I’ll find it.
I know one thing that nobody has to guess about. They’re not going to find much on the football field.
And another thing: lose those silly white pants for crying out loud. Our football team is circling the bowl and they are schlocking around with fashion choices.
Good grief.
©2006 LA Bob
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