NFC Worst
November 9th, 2006 | by LA Bob |
“Well, let’s see.
This week would ordinarily mark the “Big Game” in the Western Division of the National Football Conference, between the Greatest Show on Turf and the Seasquawks of Seattle.
Not this time, folks.
For one thing, the Greatest Show has fired its Ringmaster and hired a former circus train mechanic to do the job. The new guy seems reliable enough, and conscientious, and dots and crosses all the appropriate letters, i, j, t, etc. This train will no longer get derailed with brilliant planning followed by stupid steersmanship, but it does seem to take a bit too long getting out of the station every week, as it were.
A case in point: last week the Rams lost to the mediocre-at-best Kansas City Chiefs, chugging their way to a 14 point deficit before getting up to speed, after which they barely managed to keep abreast of the Chiefs, losing by the same 14 points. The week before that, the Rams proved they could do it on the road, too, giving the San Diego Chargers a 14 point lead and losing by, you guessed it, 14.
Seattle comes into this week’s game way up in first place and will hang on to it even if they lose to the Rams. They are short their starting quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck, and their whizbang MVP running back Shaun Alexander, but that’s not likely to matter much. Last week KC’s Trent Green was still on the bench, looking out his earhole and wondering what day it was, and his team still managed to squash the Rams like a bug.
Even with their mouthy tight end Jeremy Stevens prancing around and kneeing people in the crotch and thinking he’s the cutest thing since Freddie Mercury, the Squawks should have no trouble beating the Rams under their custom-made giant twin-tin-can pain-amplifiers (only thinly disguised as customer shelters). Due to those infernal and insulting contraptions — and the fact that Microsoft employees are forbidden to yell at the office — the Seattle ballpark is the loudest in the NFL, indoors or out. The Dome at America’s center used to be pretty loud, too, back when the fans believed and weren’t offing their tickets to brokers to sell to Chiefs fans. Last week, Marc Bulger went to a silent snap count in his own stadium after a fresh batch of false start penalties, mostly by the 2005 Penalty King of the NFL, Alex Barron, due to the noise in the Dome. The KC QB was calling audibles over center.
Pathetic. Reminds me of why the Rams got outta Dodge, er, Los Angeles.
I can’t get excited about this one. No matter who wins, they will only be the best team in the 8th best division in the league.
The NFC Worst.
©2006 LA Bob
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